My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize