I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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