Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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