i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
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there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
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I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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