At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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