nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize