I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize