I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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