he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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