You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
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There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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