I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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