when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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