Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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