no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize