I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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