I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I party with great urgency now.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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