i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
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When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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