I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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