Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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