Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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