I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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