watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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