she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize