it wasn't lemon gatorade
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize