unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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