i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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