Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
