I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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