She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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