Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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