erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize