Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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