i already hear my dad disowning me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize