Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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