Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Drunk is not a location!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize