I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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