Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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