the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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