So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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