I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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