Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize