how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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