Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he was CRYING into my vagina
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Found your dick twin last night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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