i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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