How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize