Moan for me like Helen Keller
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize