she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize