And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
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It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
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You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize