I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize