My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize