is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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